QUEZON City, Philippines (April 1) – “You deserve it”, “You showed too much skin”, “and you provoked them.”
Lines a rape victim heard. Was it really the victim’s fault? Is the victim responsible for the crime too? According to a study, one out of ten said that the victim is responsible because he or she danced provocatively, flirted and wore revealing clothes.
Sexual abuse was defined to be “unwelcome sexual advances, request for sexual favors and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature”. It can be anything that violates your sexual will.
Most of the time, sexually abused victims do not confess their experience for a fear of being misunderstood and blamed for their action.
Here are some scenarios that show sexual abuse.
Someone keeps on sending you threats, there is no physical contact or sexual intercourse, was that considered as an abuse? It is. Emotional pressure is considered as sexual abuse. The threat is the perpetrator’s tool to pressure. By any means, as long as you were forced or sexually affected, it is considered.
An adult asked a child to play pretend. It may be fun and the child may seem to like it, was that considered as sexual abuse? No matter what age the victim is, if his/ her body responded it doesn’t mean that he likes it. It is normal for the body to respond. According to Aphrodite Matsakis, on Rape and Sexual Arousal, she said that, “they simply react to stimulation the way they were physically designed to respond”.
The perpetrator was drunk or high. His or her excuse was, “I didn’t know what I was doing that time, sorry” or “I thought you wanted it”. Justice is not always given to drug-facilitated rape cases because the victim takes time to remember what happened or he or she might not remember at all.
An author from dealingwithrape.com website who happened to experience this scenario said, “My best advice for individuals that aren’t sure of the exact circumstances, believe your gut instincts, because they are typically right. You may not be able to account for every detail but a person knows when they have been violated. Just take solace in knowing that you will never have to re-live it. That was the one positive thing that I focused on. Instead of trying to figure out what happened to me, like if I’m all over the internet and how many people assaulted me (I had 7 lesions in my uterus), I focused on the fact that I will never have to re-live my rape. You should still try and get some type of counseling or have an outlet to let out your feelings, no matter what they are. This type of rape leaves a lot to the victim’s imagination, and the victim might think the worst. Every victim of drug-facilitated rape must remember no matter what the circumstances were”.
You had a crush on this guy who happened to be someone who would abuse you. Before, you exchange sweet messages and your feeling we’re mutual. People would say that you ask for it, was that considered as sexual abuse?
Yes. Even if you’re interested with the person, it doesn’t mean that he has the right to abuse you, especially in sexual terms. You always have the right to say no. Even being sexually engaged in the past or your own partner has the right to say no. Sadly, one in every three men believes that considering their partner’s will has nothing to do with sexual harassment. It is your body and will, you have the right.
Defend yourself. At the end of the day what you always got is you. Be Brave because no one may ever will.
References:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1251040/Rape-Its-fault-victims-say-50-women.html#ixzz40Idb1NlK
http://www.un.org/womenwatch/osagi/pdf/whatissh.pdf
http://www.dealingwithrape.com/?page_id=15
http://www.pandys.org/articles/arousalandassault.html
http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/the_truth_about_sexual_abuse.pdf
(written by Karen P. Llacuna, edited by Jay Paul Carlos, additional research by Lovely Ann Cruz)
